


Hush, Little Baby

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Baby!Dan, Deaged!Dan, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Honestly this is just 1.4k words of fluff, M/M, They're married oops, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 13:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4436933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Dan gets turned into a baby (based off <a href="http://plantboylester.tumblr.com/post/125011020557/nate-i-cant-stop-thinking-of-an-au-where-phil">this</a> ask that plantboylester got)<br/>-<br/>“Gha.”</p><p>Phil freezes, his muscles locking up. He turns around, peeking over his shoulder and oh. Oh no, there’s a baby. There’s a baby on the couch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hush, Little Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> all credit goes to nate for this she thought this up okay bye

Whoever invented curtains should be executed, Phil thinks, because they did a poor job. They were made to keep sunshine out, but every day he gets woken up by a beam of light on his face. Sure, it makes for a good alarm clock, but there would be better ways to wake up.

His hand skims over the drawer until it reaches his glasses and he puts them on. God, what time is it even.

The clock shows 12:38 and he rubs his eyes again just so he’s sure it’s actually 12:38. He pats the bed next to him, trying to wake Dan but oh - he isn’t there. Phil grumbles - why couldn’t Dan have woken him up? - and calls out to see if Dan’s making breakfast.

“Dan?”

He sits in bed for a minute, glancing at the clock every now and again. As the seconds go by, he sighs, getting out.

He hears shifting coming from the lounge and he walks over to it, the apartment eerily quiet. There’s nobody in the room and the TV is still turned off. Phil frowns, turning back to look in the kitchen, hoping Dan’s there. He probably is, knowing -

“Gha.”

Phil freezes, his muscles locking up. He turns around, peeking over his shoulder and oh. Oh no, there’s a baby. There’s a baby on the couch  

He walks over to it, grabbing the toddler in his hands. Brown eyes happily peek up at him from under curls and dimples appear when the boy smiles, making grabby hands at Phil’s face.

“Dan?” Phil asks again. “Dan, is that you?”

The boy giggles, putting his chubby hand in his mouth and Phil feels dizzy. He places the baby back on the sofa, because oh god, his husband just got baby-fied. This isn’t good, what did he even do? It wasn’t his fault, was it?

“Phiw,” Dan says, climbing over to Phil and placing his hands on his leg, but Phil shrugs him off.

“Phiw!”

Dan presses more against his leg now, trying to crawl on top of his lap but fuck, Dan is a baby. Dan is a baby.

“Not now,” Phil snaps, putting Dan on the couch to grab his laptop, hoping ‘how to de-age your husband’ might pull up some answers on Google when Dan starts crying.

“No no no no,” he mumbles, running over to the sofa to grab Dan again, holding him against his chest and hoping Dan would stop soon. Holy shit, he doesn’t even know how to take care of a baby, what’s he supposed to do?

He starts rocking back and forth - maybe that’ll sooth Dan, he’d read babies like that on WikiPedia some time back - but Dan keeps crying, grabbing handfuls of Phil’s shirt and tugging on it.

“Ssh Dan, it’s okay,” he says as he runs his fingers through Dan’s curls. “It’s okay, I’m here. It’s all okay.”

When Dan stops crying, Phil isn’t sure he’s ready to let go yet. Dan’s snoring a bit, his hands still fisted in Phil’s shirt and Phil can’t help but smile.

 

* * * * * 

  

‘ _how to re-age your husband_ ’

The Google Search comes up empty, much to Phil’s distress, and he has to resist the urge to pull out his own hair, because what if this never gets fixed? What if Dan stays like this?

He gets pulled out of his thoughts when he hears soft cries coming from their bedroom, knowing Dan just woke up. He makes his way over to the bedroom, tiredly wiping his face. This isn’t good for his mental health.

“Goddammit,” he curses quietly when he walks into the room. It smells horrible in there. He covers his mouth and nose with his hand and it blocks the stench, but only slightly.

“What have you done buddy?”

Dan ignores him and just keeps crying and Phil knows what’s wrong. Dan can’t go to the toilet yet, and Phil didn’t give him a diaper, oh god. He grabs Dan, careful to angle his bum away from him and walks to the bathroom, laying him down.

Do they even have diapers? He knows they had some when they babysat Darcy, but isn’t sure if there are still some left. He prays to God there are.

He finds them quickly in a drawer, stuffed away and runs back to the bathroom where he grabs some wipes and takes to the task of cleaning him.

 

* * * * *

 

“Mum, how do I tell if a baby is hungry?” 

His mum squeals down the phone. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

“Philip Michael Lester, did you adopt a baby without my knowledge?”

He chuckles nervously down the phone - which his mum probably heard but he hopes she hasn’t - and wishes he had Dan’s acting talent, but Dan is a baby right now and he needs to know if he’s hungry so he can get him to stop crying. Oh god this is a mess and he needs to lie to his mum, needs to -

“I’m taking care of this baby for a friend and before you ask, you don’t know him. He’s a YouTuber like me, but you’ve never met him before and he won’t stop crying and I think he might be hu-”

Dan starts crying again and really, Phil has had enough.

“Dan, can’t you stop crying for a second?”

He freezes, his eyes widening when he realises the mistake he’s made. Oh god, this isn’t good, his mum is going to laugh at him and won’t believe him and -

“Dan’s the baby? Is this a joke Phil?”

“No the baby’s called Dan as well. Funny coincidence right?” Phil laughs and he knows his mum doesn’t believe him, but he can’t stop now. “Dan’s gone to his parents for the weekend and he left me with the baby and I really need help so can you please tell me how you can see if a baby is hungry?”

“Well first off, you need milk.”

Phil sighs, glad his mum isn’t asking questions, before following her instructions.

 

* * * * *

 

Dan’s making grabby hands at the bottle and Phil quickly thanks his mum before hanging up. He puts down the phone and the bottle and picks the toddler up, placing Dan on his knee and putting the bottle to Dan’s lips, watching as Dan greedily sucks the milk. 

Phil smiles. Dan might still be grumpy as a baby, but he gets ten times more adorable. When Dan’s done, he lays him on his shoulder, gently patting his back like his mum told him to. Dan lets out a little burp and buries his head in Phil’s neck, smearing something all over the skin.

“No,” Phil says. “Bad Dan!”

He quickly grabs a napkin to wipe it off when Dan pouts, his eyes growing huge and oh no, he’s going to cry again.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he mumbles, hugging Dan to his chest again.  “I love you. It’s just that this is all very frustrating and you’re a baby and you probably don’t even understand what I’m saying but-”

“Phiw,” Dan mumbles into his chest, trying to hug him back, but his arms fall short and Phil feels his chest fill with warmth as Dan buries his head into it.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, pecking Dan’s head, cuddling the toddler as his eyelids start to droop.

“Phiw, Phiw, Phiw,” Dan keeps mumbling, but Phil’s falling asleep, his eyes closing and drifting of, hoping Dan will be normal tomorrow.

 

* * * * *

 

“Phil!”

Someone’s shouting in his ear and he groans, batting that person away.

“Phil, wake the fuck up!”

God, he really needs to learn Dan to shut the fuck up. The late night Internet browsing in bed is one thing, but waking him up is really too much. At least when Dan was a toddler he was quiet sometime-

Wait, Dan isn’t a toddler anymore? Phil’s eyes shoot open to find Dan staring at him, his eyes filled with annoyance.

“Jesus, you take long to wake up. I thought I was bad.”

Phil blinks at him, pushing his glasses up his nose and hugging him, his arms around Dan’s chest.

“Woah, someone’s excited.”

“Shut up,” Phil mumbles, burying his head in Dan’s shoulder now that he can again. “You were gone and I had to take care of you and it was horrible and-”

Dan pushes him away a little, his eyes serious and his cheeks flushing.

“Wait, that really happened? I thought it was a dream.”

Phil nods, chuckling at Dan’s embarassment. “I had to wipe your butt.”

Dan shoves at him, turning away and burying his face in the couch to hide his red cheeks and Phil laughs at him.

“We are never getting babies.”

**Author's Note:**

> okay it’s official i am trash come cry with me
> 
> tell me what you thought please!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](http://ninchuser.tumblr.com)


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